Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Something about sleep

Sleep was never such a source of stress and frustration before I had a baby. Now, how much sleep I had, how much sleep the baby had, how much sleep we didn't have, consumes every day and night.

Last night, I turned off my bedside lamp at precisely 9:55 p.m. and at 10:33 I heard that familiar "waa" coming from the next room. I had literally just finally started to drift to sleep at that point. Of course Sofia had only been in bed herself since about 8:30 so she was not hungry yet, but just needed me to stick her soother back in her mouth.

I am cursed with a busy mind, making it difficult to fall asleep even when I'm exhausted. I can't just shut off my brain as soon as I hit the pillow. My husband on the other hand can sleep anywhere, anytime, no problem. So between turning out the light and hearing a waking baby, he actually gets sleep, however little that may be. Add to that the fact that he doesn't always hear the baby, and you've got a great night's sleep. I, on the other hand, having mommy's instinct and all, hear every sound that comes from baby's room, even a teeny tiny sneeze.

Sometimes, broken sleep is better than no sleep at all. But after so many nights with only two or three hour stretches of sleep banked, it starts to catch up with you. Lack of sleep is one of those things seasoned parents will warn you about, but you will never really grasp until you experience it. I remember at the end of my pregnancy being told to enjoy sleep/rest while I could. I thought to myself, if only I could save up all that rest and use it later when I really needed it. But alas, that is not possible and today I long for those nights of 10 plus hours of sleep.

Somehow, even with a lack of sleep, you do manage to function though. This morning, for example, I got up and bowled three games. And while baby naps, here I sit at my computer instead of using the time to grab some shuteye myself. That's what us moms do - we complain but we know it's all part of motherhood, and we still wouldn't change a thing.

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