The ever illusive "Me Time"

It was another busy weekend at our house. We had friends visiting and  we enjoyed Family Day Monday in the city. We went swimming, and though it was WAY too crowded for me, Sofia loved the water as always. Then we went out for supper at Red Lobster, where we were seated in the "kiddie corner" (where they put all the families with small children, so the possible crying, screaming, squealing and baby talk doesn't drive the single couples crazy). It was fun though, and the food was awesome.

Today it's back to just me and the baby. She's napping now, so I get to enjoy a little "me time", which of course means sitting at the computer playing Facebook games, checking emails and obviously updating my blog.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with this "me time". Or, I'm not sure what other moms do. Maybe I should do something productive like empty the dishwasher (and re-fill it again) or put away the mountain of laundry sitting in the bedroom to make room for the load that's about to come out of the dryer. Perhaps I should read a book (ha!) or get a shower or make the bed. Nah, I'd prefer to use this time to do something mindless and not housework related.

Quick, she's sleeping, go do something productive!

As time goes on, "me time" becomes shorter and shorter. I'm lucky to have a husband who lets me have some time to myself once in a while so I can go get a bubble bath or watch one of the many shows taking up space on our PVR. He gets his own "me time" when he plays hockey and when Sofia and I take off to playgroup on his day off.

It's really important for us to have time to ourselves, and I'm not just saying that because all the baby books and websites tell me so. I need to unwind, whether that means actually relaxing in the tub or sitting at the computer for half an hour doing absolutely nothing important. If I didn't get those times, I think I'd go bonkers. All the playing and singing and watching cartoons can get to you after a while. And I want to enjoy those things, because they are part of watching my baby grow up.

K, my time is going to be up soon so I better go check Facebook.

Us

Me and my girl <3

Love Day Lament

I'm such a girl. Every year on Valentine's Day I maintain that we do not need to "celebrate" it. I really do believe that we shouldn't assign just one day to express our love for one another. But then, being the hypocritical girl that I am, I'm always disappointed if I don't get a surprise. In the past, Michael has surprised me with various gifts; flowers and sweet cards, and we have gone out on several occasions for supper. This year, I once again sad I didn't care and we didn't have to do anything for each other. I even went as far as to say that I especially didn't want a card because they just pile up and then I feel bad throwing them out. Of course, this came AFTER he had already bought me a card, both from himself and from Sofia. Oops.

So I felt a little bad. I didn't get him anything and we didn't plan anything because we had to drive to the city anyway with his parents on V-Day.

The more I think about it, the more I think I should stop being so silly. First of all, what's wrong with expressing our love for each other, even if it has to be on the designated day? It doesn't mean we shouldn't express our love on other days too. And besides, shouldn't I LIKE getting gifts? Now that I have a child, I think I should start enjoying the holiday anyway, because she will have to give out valentines to her friends, and maybe I'll make heart shaped cookies or something for her. Ha! But really, it doesn't have to be about mushy, sappy, romantic love. It can be about family love. I actually like the idea of celebrating Valentine's Day as a family instead of leaving the baby with a babysitter and going out for supper or something. Why not bake those heart shaped cookies together, and then get to enjoy them together too? That's a plan for next year.

The one thing we did celebrate this Valentine's Day was Sofia starting to crawl forwards finally!! It was a momentous occasion! For weeks she has been going backwards, sideways, rolling and sliding, every way but forwards. She's becoming a real little girl now. Aww, my baby is growing up! That's something to love <3

Cabin fever sets in

Oh. My. God. Will winter EVER END?! It's about that time when I begin to experience cabin fever. Thank goodness the sun is shining today, so I can look outside and at least imagine that it's not -22 degrees. I'm pretty sure Sofia agrees with these sentiments because on the days when we don't go anywhere, it's increasing difficult to occupy her. By about 3 p.m. she begins to get fussy and of course is determined not to nap even though she's tired, so I have to deal with it and try to keep her entertained somehow.

And the nights are no better. I was getting used to getting up twice at night to feed her (still!), but this week it's been unbearable. On top of her usual two wake-ups, she will cry out periodically, just enough to wake me up, and some nights like last night she just cries (or screams, as the case may be) and we can't figure out what's wrong. She won't eat, she won't settle down, and we ended up giving her Tylenol. Last night she just screamed and screamed and we knew she was in pain, possibly teething. I just feel so helpless. I hate not knowing what's wrong and just guessing how to make her feel better. We go through this checklist and hope that something will calm her down.

All this lack of sleep and dealing with the cold and traveling has made me weary. I have just a couple months to get my photography studio up and running, and it's not really happening. I am waiting for our basement to be completed before I can set everything up, so that is my best and only real excuse. I just haven't felt motivated. I haven't even felt like taking pictures of Sofia, much to the dismay of my family on the other side of the country.

Oh well, the lesson to be learned here is that there are ups and downs. We might be down right now, but I know things will get better. My baby girl is growing and amazing me more every day, and with growth comes change and hopefully, eventually, more sleep!

Our crazy life

It's been a busy few weeks at our house, which is my excuse for not writing in a while. Although I am quite aware that it being busy is not news. I just haven't felt inspired, I guess. Well now I have lots of things running through my head. I haven't been sleeping well, partly because Sofia is still waking up twice at night (ugh) and partly because I just can't seem to shut my mind off.

The stomach flu has gone around our house. I got it twice and Michael got it once. Thankfully, Sofia didn't get it so that's the main thing. We went on a little trip to visit friends for five days, then came home for two days and then went away again for one night. I don't really want to go anywhere else for a little while. I love visiting and going new places, but I can't stand long drives, especially when it's -30 outside so you can't even look out the windows because they are all frosted up lol. Again, I am super thankful because Sofia is an absolutely amazing traveler. Even though I hate long drives, that doesn't usually stop us from going places, so her being a good traveler is awesome.

Our little girl is getting to be a bigger girl every day. At her 9 month weigh-in she was 18.4 lbs and 27 in. She eats like her dad (ie all the time and anything at all) and she sleeps great (aside from the waking up at night still). She's still not crawling, at least not forwards. She has managed to figure out how to go backwards and sideways and how to get off her belly into a sitting position, so even though she isn't crawling on her hands and knees, she gets where she wants to go.

We've also been dealing with separation anxiety, especially when it comes to her grandfather and her daddy. She is a major daddy's girl. When he walks into the room her face lights up and she starts to bounce. I'm thinking the reason she is so enthralled with them is because they are the ones who spoil her the most ha ha.

My baby girl amazes me every day. She is becoming a real little person with her own personality. I can't believe that her birthday is right around the corner. Life is about to get even more crazy, with me starting my photography business (aiming for April 1st!), my mom coming to visit and who knows what else. Now, if winter would just be over and done with so that we can enjoy some of our craziness outside ... that would make my life perfect and complete.

Boy oh boy

This morning Sofia and I helped celebrate my friend's son Lucas' first birthday. As I watched her play on the floor with her new friends I realized that it figures, she'd make fast friends with two boys. It's just the way things worked out. She has met lots of other babies, both boys and girls, at playgroup but because us moms get along, she's been spending most of her time with the boys. Sofia is the youngest of the group, and the only one of them not yet crawling and/or walking. She kinda of just sits there with a pile of toys surrounding her watching the boys chase each other (and I'm sure, planning her future advances).

Sofia and her two boy friends out for a walk

This does not really worry me. For one, she's 8.5 months old. She doesn't care who she's hanging out with. Second, she will have plenty of time to make more friends of both genders. For now, it's cute to watch them play together and to think that in a few years they will all be going to school together. I actually think it's great that she could have friends to grow up with like that. Maybe she'll date one or each of them at some point, or maybe they will just be platonic friends, but the kind of friends who do everything together and tell each other everything. Or maybe when they get older they won't be close friends at all. Whatever. All I do know is that those boys better treat her good!

The mommy-baby connection

The last few days have been exhausting. On Friday night I got sick. I won't get into details because I really don't want to relive that night, but I was sick right through until last night when finally my headache began to recede and my appetite came back. I slept pretty good last night (between feeding and comforting my teething baby) and this morning woke up fresh and ready to go shopping! (Retail therapy always helps me feel better, especially when it involves nearly $200 in gift cards at clothing stores.)

Breastfeeding has meant that I've been sick more often in the last year than I have in my entire life. It's no fun, but me being sick is better than Sofia being sick. Even so, it sucks, and I'm a huge baby myself when I'm sick. I'm just thankful that it happened on the weekend when Michael was around to look after Sofia and force me to drink lots of fluids.

Lately I've been mentally preparing myself for the day when I stop breastfeeding. Whenever I get sick, I keep nursing, knowing that it could prevent Sofia from getting sick too. Of course that's not the only perk to breastfeeding. Ever since I got pregnant, when someone asked if I planned to nurse, I said "Of course, why not? As long as I am able to, I will". I was lucky enough to have very little trouble in that department and it's become more natural to me the longer I've been doing it. Sometimes I complain about having to be the one to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, or awkwardly try to feed her with people all around (I have no shame about nursing in public, but I also don't wanna be flashing my boobs to the world. There is a discreet way to do it, it's just complicated sometimes), or having to pump to get a full night's sleep while Sofia stays at nana and poppy's. Then there are those moments, in her room at bedtime, with nature lullabies playing softly in the background, when she's cuddled up next to me reaching up and playing with my hair while she nurses. Those are the moments I will miss.

I planned to breastfeed as long as I could, and so far I haven't found a good enough reason to have to stop. I will probably do it until she's a year old, but that date is closing in and I'm wondering if the "sign" to stop that I'm expecting will not come and I'll have to actually make the decision myself. At this point, I'm really proud of myself for sticking with it, because I know not everyone can do that.

On that note, it's getting late and I'm probably going to have to get up soon to feed the baby. Goodnight world.