The mommy-baby connection

The last few days have been exhausting. On Friday night I got sick. I won't get into details because I really don't want to relive that night, but I was sick right through until last night when finally my headache began to recede and my appetite came back. I slept pretty good last night (between feeding and comforting my teething baby) and this morning woke up fresh and ready to go shopping! (Retail therapy always helps me feel better, especially when it involves nearly $200 in gift cards at clothing stores.)

Breastfeeding has meant that I've been sick more often in the last year than I have in my entire life. It's no fun, but me being sick is better than Sofia being sick. Even so, it sucks, and I'm a huge baby myself when I'm sick. I'm just thankful that it happened on the weekend when Michael was around to look after Sofia and force me to drink lots of fluids.

Lately I've been mentally preparing myself for the day when I stop breastfeeding. Whenever I get sick, I keep nursing, knowing that it could prevent Sofia from getting sick too. Of course that's not the only perk to breastfeeding. Ever since I got pregnant, when someone asked if I planned to nurse, I said "Of course, why not? As long as I am able to, I will". I was lucky enough to have very little trouble in that department and it's become more natural to me the longer I've been doing it. Sometimes I complain about having to be the one to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, or awkwardly try to feed her with people all around (I have no shame about nursing in public, but I also don't wanna be flashing my boobs to the world. There is a discreet way to do it, it's just complicated sometimes), or having to pump to get a full night's sleep while Sofia stays at nana and poppy's. Then there are those moments, in her room at bedtime, with nature lullabies playing softly in the background, when she's cuddled up next to me reaching up and playing with my hair while she nurses. Those are the moments I will miss.

I planned to breastfeed as long as I could, and so far I haven't found a good enough reason to have to stop. I will probably do it until she's a year old, but that date is closing in and I'm wondering if the "sign" to stop that I'm expecting will not come and I'll have to actually make the decision myself. At this point, I'm really proud of myself for sticking with it, because I know not everyone can do that.

On that note, it's getting late and I'm probably going to have to get up soon to feed the baby. Goodnight world.